I have three best friends. First and foremost is Housewife, because she is All that is Woman. Secondly is the Wife, with whome I reconnected with on MySpace. Last but not least is Bumpkin, who I used to work with and allows me to let my inner redneck out.
Now, Wife and I live in the same city, and we went to high school together. We never hung out or even really cared for each other in high school, but with time comes maturity. Mostly.
Since February, I've spent a lot of time with Wife. She and I fish a lot, or just shoot the shit. Point is, from about May to July, we spent almost every single day together.
I couldn't take it anymore.
First was the money issue. (Don't all marriages have money problems?)Specifically, she never has any, and bemoans that fact constantly. As such, whenever we'd drive to go fishing, it was on my gas budget. That got irksome. I suggested better jobs or even second jobs to her, but she never made a move towards that. I got very tired of hearing it. I'm broke too, but I know what options I have to change that and whining about it changes nothing. So I do not. Her boyfriend doesn't even pay 1/2 the rent, and yet she always has money for going out. Right. Seems legit. Know what I do? Budget like a motherfucker and watch every damn dime that leaves my account. This is why I don't go out a lot. Babysitter issues aside, I can't really afford to. So I don't.
Secondly, Wife hates her body. I mean she hates her body. To hear her speak, she is a fat, ugly, stretch-marked whale. Now, I've got her by a good 40 pounds. But I think I'm gorgeous, so I wonder if she thinks I'm ugly too..? Anywhoodles, instead of working out and eating right, she sat on her ass and tried insanse diets. The Master Cleanse diet. The Caveman diet. Atkins. Some weird seafood diet. Now, that really pisses me off. For one, I've worked my ASS off to lose the weight and that includes working out and eating right. I've told her she can take walks with me, but she doesn't have the gas to get to me. I've been her personal cheerleader on how beautiful she is day in and day out for a long time, and when I lost it at her she tried to make me feel guilty about her body issues.
Lastly, it occured to me that the woman is very clingy. I am a pretty indenpendant person, being completely alone doesn't really bother me. I putter around my condo, go for walks, swim, and read. But Wife cannot be alone, she needs someone to need her. Someone to be around her, to keep her company and entertained. And if she's had too much to drink, she turns passive-aggressive and whiney about it. I will not give into that shit, and told her so. We fought HARD about that. She always wants to come over, or for me to come over. Let's go somewhere! Let's do something! You're paying! The concept that I'd rather A) really just spend time alone being with my daughter and enjoying her or B) just be alone period is forgein to her. I get that some people can't grasp that concept but they at least respect that concept. This explains why she stays in long-term unhappy relationships. That and the fact they didn't do anything "wrong" to her, so she "can't" break up with them. Woman, it happens every day, just do it, y'all aren't married. It's called not being right for each other, break up and moooooove on. Jeez.
So, what happened? In short, I defriended her.I started spending almost every single weekend back home. I ignored the comments that she'd "like to have her wife here for the weekend". Then I slowly started being busy with things. And if that didn't seem to work, I wouls say I was exhausted or I just wanted to be with my daughter. She's gotten the message, and she's pissed and hurt. Yes, I explained all of these things to her, and I RAH! RAH! RAH!'ed her to get her life back on track. Get a better job! Exercise! Eat right! Be single! Join a club! DO SOMETHING CHRIST ALMIGHTY! Instead I was presented with a list of excuses why she cannot or will not do any of those things. Fine. I'm done trying to help fix you. I'm done listening and emotionally and mentally jerking you off. I've got so much shit on my plate right now, I need three hands and a cart. I don't need more.
I miss her, and I still love her. But I'm also more at peace because I finally have peace and quiet.