The One Where The Mad Housewife Finally Writes an Update...

Hi.  I've been missing lately.


That's because life has been repeatedly punching me in the balls.


The good news is that my hubby is doing pretty damn good.  He's recovered really well from his brief stay in the loony bin last May; and he's been successfully taken off all his medication.  


Good news again is that he's getting his Bachelor's degree in the next couple of months, and is in the process of taking the LSAT and applying for law school.


Can't fault the boy for being ambitious.


Bad news is, well, the ball punching.  My family court case is NOT going well.  Ok, it's going well for ME... but it's taking FOR FREAKING EVER to go through the court system.  And since my damn ex successfully argued that the case be heard in HIS state, court is an EIGHT hour drive away.  (NO clue how that happened.  We had a substitute judge the day the jurisdiction case was heard.  I'm sure he managed to find the ONE judge in the county that wasn't above being bribed.)  


So there's that.  And we've gone through court-ordered mediation TWICE in the last year and yea... MASSIVE FAIL.  The first mediation was so bad, I literally broke out into hives.  Besides the fact that I can now truthfully say that I am allergic to my ex husband, that entire experience sucked donkey dick.  


We just had a second go round at mediation.  EPIC MASSIVE FAIL.  Apparently my ex can't mediate because he's still butthurt about the nuclear explosion that was the end of our marriage.  "You put restraining orders on me, waaaah!"  You're damn right I did, you gun-toting freak.  The last thing I needed was to end up pregnant and dead on the six-0-clock news.  I attempted to man up, apologize for my hurting him... and this bastard looked straight at me and told me he didn't care.  He just could NOT move past his own bullshit and attempt to coparent our child with me.  


At this point, even my ex's own parents are ready to strangle his dumb ass.  His mom straight up told me that she thinks he's a "sociopathic liar."  Correct.  His dad told me that he told him that he needed to "man up and actually BE a father."  Also correct.


And the icing on the cake is that my ex just remarried his equally sociopathic girlfriend.  I'm shocked that the massive amount of vapid so close together in one spot hasn't created an anomaly that will eventually suck the entire world into it's incredibly selfish black hole.  I'll be floored if this lasts more than a couple months.  I really didn't want to have to explain the concept of "divorce" to my five year old yet... but maybe I'll get lucky and only have to explain what an "annulment" is.


I really hate my ex.  He's actually got several concurrent court cases against me.  The best one is that he's saying that he overpaid me in child support, and now I owe HIM money.  Um, I did the math.  My ex paid me a total of about $160 for my kid's ENTIRE first year.  Even if the child support was calculated incorrectly (the state's fault, not mine), and we look at the LOWEST amount of support he'd have to pay according to his paycheck at the time... he STILL would not be done paying his back pay right now.  Fuck the fuck out of him.  It's all about the money and the bitches, right?


Also, he never takes his visitation.  I send her with his dad, her grandpa, one state over so that she can see that side of the family.  Outside of court dates, he's literally come to pick up my kid for visitation (since December 2008) THREE times.  Only one of those times was he unaccompanied by his dad.  Um, grow up?  He's almost thirty, it's about damn time.


So... the cherries on the icing on the cake... Today I had to let my beloved lawyer go.  Those bastards aren't cheap, and the financial office in his firm told me that they're stopping work on the case until the bill is paid in full.  Yea, that's not happening.  And since my ex's Daddy is funding his lawyer... yea.  I've had to represent myself in court before, and I worked pro se against his current lawyer and GOD she is insane.  She's really nuts.  Whenever we're in court, the judge has to repeatedly tell this woman to SIT DOWN and SHUT UP.  She's bad.  When I was representing myself before, this bitch showered me in lawsuits for EVERYTHING and paperwork up the butthole to boot.  Once my lawyer officially withdraws from my case, she's going to hit me and hit me HARD.


It comes down to this though.


I've got my native intelligence, my street smarts, the internets, a computer, a printer, a scanner, a Fed Ex store with a notary right down the street, and ALL GOD DAMNED DAY.  


Bring it.