I've been thinking (and thinking and THINKING) about some topics that I've wanted to discuss. And me, being the hippie, haircut-needing liberal that I am, have some doozies. Shit that I'd rather talk about under a (very appropriate, I think) pen name. For several reasons.
One, my husband is still on active duty in the Marine Corps. We've got a pretty unusual name. It ain't that hard to put two and two together. And him being in the Marine Corps, he's subject to a specific code of laws called the UCMJ. Which basically means he can get in serious trouble with the military for a ton of shit that civilians generally don't give a fuck about. For example: Punitive Article 125 of the UCMJ forbids sodomy. So technically, my husband could get punished before a military court just because we got freaky one night. And we're pretty freaky.... I'm sure I've got stuff under my belt that would get me arrested in quite a few states....
Two, my damn ex husband is all up in my shit. I don't think he's smart enough to Google my name, but I'm not leaving anything to chance. The dumb fucker sued me for more visitation and we have mediation coming up here shortly. I'm only pissed because I have to pay a lawyer. My money would be better spent if I gathered it all up in a big pile on my front lawn, set it on FIRE, than sat back to enjoy it's warmth and cashy glow.
Three, Murphy's Law ALWAYS applies to me. I've just got straight up bad luck. I've accepted and made peace with the fact that if shit is going to screw up, it's going to screw up on my watch.
And this is why I'm officially anonymasized. Knowing all that I know, anonymasization is part of my contingency plan.
So when I'm
Don't say I didn't warn you.
~The Mad Housewife
