I've been thinking for a while (I know, everyone run, SHE'S THINKING!!!!)... anyway... the topic of bloggy disclosure has been on my mind. I realize that our blogs (much like our social networking sites) can speak volumes about our lives. But in reality, do we keep the best and/or the worst (or even the mediocre) to ourselves? Is how much of what we choose to share with the world affected by the way we want the world to perceive us?
I understand that many of us who blog self censor because of IRL (In Real Life) friends or family members who may be readers as well. I'm lucky enough that none of my family reads my shit (thank GOD, I'm incapable of self censoring) and that the friends that DO read my blog are used to me by now. (Actually, my husband makes a big point of not reading my blog. He knows that writing is a release for me, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to fuck with the process.)
While my blog may represent parts of me, I'm sure that it's impossible to get a full 360 degree view of a person via the internets. Because as real as I get on here, I do choose to hold a lot back... I mean, a LOT. Maybe I'll get either brave or stupid enough to share some of it, but at it's core this IS a mommy blog so it's been nice keeping the content leaning towards mommyness.
So, I will leave you with some tidbits that I'm sure none of ya'll know about me...
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:
- I certified as a tax preparer a couple years ago, and I still keep current on tax laws and do everyone's (the neighbor's, my hubby's platoon's) taxes for free. Because no one should have to pay a hundred bucks for an easy tax return, and because there's something deliciously, stereotypically Italian about doing "the books."
- I have no problem turning on Nick Jr. and taking a nap on the couch. And I don't feel bad about it. Because I really don't let my kid watch TV (and oh how my child loves TV!) and the last time I napped like that, I woke up two hours later and the child had not moved from her chair. Not. One. Inch.
- I stopped talking to my mother for a year because she was driving me insane. I emailed, but no talking. And I'm not too proud of that, but I needed to save my sanity. We just recently got back into contact and it's going really well, because the lack of contact has made my mother realize that I'm almost 25 fuckin years old, and probably should be treated as such. Makes a big difference.
- I have no problem feeding my child corn dogs for breakfast, and cereal for dinner.
- I LOVE vintage and I have spent many an hour scouring Ebay for dresses. Vintage clothes are extremely difficult to find in my size (read: fit my boobs) so that's a major weight loss motivation for me.
- I don't go to baby showers. Because I don't want to ruin them with my inevitiable glowering at the honoree. Yes, I'm happy for you, no I'm not going. I was actually so guilty about playing hooky for the last one that I paid for the venue. And didn't go.
- I bought my first house at age 20, with the money I got from my Iraq deployment. I really miss my house, and I cried when I moved and had to sell it.
- My husband and I have the kind of sex life that I'd have to start another blog if I wanted to talk about it. An anonymous blog. And it's all seriously fabulous. And not because I'm embarrassed (I'm not), but because very few people I know in real life are privy to the facts and I'd like to keep it that way.
- Speaking of sex, I am a firm believer that it keeps marriages together. If you don't have it with your husband he is a) getting it somewhere else and/or b) going to leave you. Short of a massive traumatic illness of course, I have made it a point to never (seriously, never) say no to my hubby when he asks for some lovin. I think the last time I turned him down was in 2008 when I had the flu.
- I have 100% complete control over the finances in my marriage. My hubby doesn't do anything but make the money, and I do everything else. And I like it that way.
- I am pretty sure that I will be a housewife for the rest of my life, and I'm going to stop apologizing for it. Even if I get my degree, it will be online, and I will probably never put it into practical application. Sometimes I go crazy staying at home, but I really never want to have a "real" job again. Ever.
- I've been married before (this we know) but so has my husband. I know the odds are against us, but "the odds" don't take into account how incredibly stubborn the two of us are.
- I'm pretty sure we're going to file for bankruptcy soon. And I don't feel any kind of guilt about it whatsoever. All of the debt that I/we have incurred has been because of divorce, and it's an outrageous amount. (Two and a half years of a divorce/custody battle... yea, use your imagination.) My hubby works hard for his money, I'd like to see us put what we spend on debt in a savings account so he can see the actual results of his elbow grease and sacrifices.
- On particularly cold nights, and when we have the extra money, I like to go out and buy coffee and hamburgers for the base gate guards. Because I have stood watch many cold and hungry nights too.
- I stalk my ex and whatever girlfriend he has at the moment on social networking sites. In my mind, the craziness factor is mitigated by the metal relief I feel knowing where he is and what he's up to.
- I'm obsessed with my hair. It's waist length (and growing) and gorgeous, and it's pretty much the only thing I let myself get stupid vain about. There's a whole nutso community of natural hair care people out there, and I am one of them.
- One of the most worthwhile things (in my mind) I've ever done is talk an acquaintance of mine out of having an abortion. She's now happily married to the father of her baby, and that makes me happy.